Good morning my square paradise. I did feel a bit strange when I surfaced from my bed this morning.
Too much of that and you’ll go blind!
Shhhhhhh!
What? Where are my clothes??
Your mum’s house.
That's my mum too you fool!
Modok took them. Well the skin servers are down, so technically, they took your clothes.
I have no idea what you just said, but it sounds lovely.
Anyway, that will not stop me from going out, kicking ass and taking names. Let’s go!
Crap, there’s quite a few Hydra goons down there.
They’re not Hydra, but they will explode if too close to them, be careful.
Can’t hear you over how awesome I am. Leeeeeeeeeroooooooooooy Jenkins!
Pew Pew Pew.
Huh, whadda you know, they do explode!
Told you!
What have these guys eaten? That stinks, would you like a breath mint.
There's too many captain, I just don’t have the power!
Pansy!
and black out!
Well that chafed, where the hell am I now?
Did you not see the guys recent technical difficulties notice?
Aww really? A reboot, how original. Just when I was having fun!
Don’t get me started on how annoying reboots can be!
And who the hell are you?
Ootini na-jaba?
Somehow I don't think they are jawas, but locals, you have succeeded in finding some life on this planet.
WOMEN!! BOUNCY??
But sadly there don't appear to be any women in this village,
Well you can't tell under those clothes
Grope them all!
Well these still aren't my clothes, but better!
Lame!
What a nice village you guys got here,
Really? Is there no casino or burrito place? No tacos???
That sucks.
Villager: “We have a task for you oh great and crazy ninja man. Will you come to our aid and defend us from the terrors that are in this world?”
Umm alright, what's in it for me?
Villager: “Whatever your heart requires, we have set aside some of our resources from the village vault for you, up by zombie mountain, there is chest with all you should require there. Please would you go forth and defends us?"
Really , no down payment? You expect me to do this just on your word?
There might be shiny things in the chest for us
I'll do it!
And so our brave adventurer comes to the aid of the feeble locals who cannot help themselves, and vows to turn this mountain in to his home and defend the honour of his minions, I mean the locals.
Author – Matt Palmer